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Linnea Revak believes in secondhand unicorns – the kind of magic that brings together intentional shopping and fun-loving fashion. Since 2015, Linnea has been curating secondhand and handmade at her consignment shop in Downtown Charlottesville — DarlingxDashing Boutique. She’s a University of Virginia graduate that fell in love and stayed in Cville. Growing up in a family where secondhand clothing and hand-me-downs, antiqueing and craft shows were the norm, the blend of handmade and secondhand in her business was kismet. 

Linnea has always had a flair for fashion and storytelling, which she gets to lean into every day as a small business owner. She’s an advocate for faking it til you make it, less hustle more grace, personal style over fashion trends, doing sustainability imperfectly but intentionally, and dressing for the mood you want. 

Linnea’s passion for community building led her to found Boss Babes Cville in 2015 – a support group for female identifying entrepreneurs and business people in the Charlottesville area.

Listen in as Linnea and Jess talk about navigating the waves of running a business (when to hustle and when to rest), how trusting yourself can actually lead to more business growth, and the importance of listening to your body in order to sustainably run a business.

Shop DarlingxDashing Boutique and follow on Instagram @shopdarlingxdashing.
Follow Linnea @linnea_white

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Transcript:

[00:00] Speaker A: What are your thoughts on hustling and how much hustle you need in order to grow your business? Do you think that there are seasons to hustle and seasons to coast or rest? Listen in as Linnaeus and I talk about that idea, balancing between mean creativity and hustle, as well as how listening to your body and trusting yourself can actually help you grow your business. Coming up on the Sincerely Your Small Business Podcast, the show all about getting to know your favorite small business owners and connecting over shared experiences. You've always wanted to get to know your favorite local business owners, but with everyone's busy schedules, it can be hard to actually sit down and chat about it all. The Sincerely Your Small Business Podcast is your window into what inspires them, makes them tick, and how they've grown as business owners, community members, activists, parents, and friends. I'm your host, Jess Norby. Welcome back to another episode of Sincerely Your Own Business. I am way too excited for our guests today. How often have we had to reschedule this chat?

[01:26] Speaker B: For a couple of months, back and forth.

[01:30] Speaker A: But you're here and you got the mic, and can you please introduce yourself to listeners? I didn't even introduce you by name. This is my dear friend, Linnea Revak. Did I pronounce your last name correctly?

[01:42] Speaker B: Yeah, Revak, you got it.

[01:43] Speaker A: Okay, I almost said White.

[01:45] Speaker B: Last name I know, the name change. I know, it's official. It just feels weird still, you know? But yes, my name is Linnea. I am the owner of Darling and Dashing Boutique in downtown Charlottesville. I went to VA and I've been in Charlottesville ever since. So I graduated in 2010 and stuck around because I loved Charlottesville and wanted to try to grow some roots here. So, yeah, I have I'm a brick and mortar small business owner, so I have definitely grown some roots here. But, yeah, I'm recently married. That's the name change. Woohoo. And yeah, I've gone through a huge transition this year. I've been a small business owner for seven years now, a little over seven years, which kind of not kind of, it does blow my mind when I think about how long I've been doing it already. This year is a big year of transition, opening up Dashing, which is the sibling store to Darling, which is what I've owned for that seven plus years now. So, yeah, a big year of expansion and growth as a business and a brick and mortar, and then that's probably been a big part of why we've been rescheduling constantly to make it happen.

[02:55] Speaker A: Can you share the experience that you've had between being, like, a new business owner for Darling and then the kind of getting ready to open Dashing? Because I'm just curious. You're probably in a different headspace and a different feeling of readiness.

[03:11] Speaker B: January 2015, I bought Darling with my friend. We were coowners together and I bought it from the original owner. I was 25 years old. I think it was probably terrifying back then, but maybe even less terrifying than opening Dashing because I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into. I was naive so that I had that on my side, I think because I was terrified to quit my full time job, quit this career I'd had for a couple of years at that point, post college and quit all of that to be a small business owner and run a shop. I had never worked in retail. I was an avid shopper and consigner and all of that and big into blogging and social media and all of the online marketing world. So I knew it would be a good fit. But I really didn't know what it was going to take to run a business and get it all out as it went along. So I think when I was opening Dashing this year, I was excited. And I had this because I'd had the name and the idea for this entire time after opening Darling, I was dreamt of having a masculine side, a side that carried men's brands and all of that and expanding in that way as a storefront. I just knew it was going to take time and the right alignment of space and all the things. And so I was excited in the sense of like, feeling like this dream was finally becoming actualized. But I also wasn't naive anymore. I know what it takes to run a storefront. I know what it takes to manage people and hire and train and all the things that will come with expansion. I think there was a side of me that was really like creatively, excited to do something new and bring something new to life. But I think also the business side of me was freaking out because I knew what I was taking on.

[05:01] Speaker A: Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about that. You almost have to balance two sides. Like having creative outlet. Getting your passion.

[05:10] Speaker B: Obviously.

[05:11] Speaker A: Because I've known you in the time that it took for you to launch this. To passionate about starting something that is appropriate for that more masculine side of fashion and still like wrangling. I guess. Reeling in the Pragmatic logical side of you.

[05:27] Speaker B: Like. Okay.

[05:28] Speaker A: There's a lot of hurdles to go through. There's a lot of things you have to do. How did you I don't know.

[05:33] Speaker B: What was that like?

[05:35] Speaker A: Because they're like competing. All right, like the other side is like, let's do this, it's going to be amazing, which it is. And there's the other side that's like, watch out. All the things that probably bring up anxiety and fear and how did you just feel all of those things and do it?

[05:51] Speaker B: I just did it. I guess that's a natural answer. I moved through each day and I did it. But I think for me, the excitement and the energy that pushed me through, that gave me the momentum I think was really necessary. I think also having my I have an amazing accountant for my business. He also acts as like a financial advisor for my business. So we had had many conversations about expansion as early as 2019. I mean, we were talking about something like this happening and at what point the business would be at a place to do this. So it's something I've been thinking about prepandemic. I was actually looking at commercial real estate places, starting to talk to a real estate agent in Richmond in 2019, before the Pandemic, because I was thinking my next move in terms of expansion was going to be opening in another city, not necessarily Dashing, and because there wasn't a real estate option right next to Darling at that point in Charlottesville. And then the pandemic happened. So I reassessed everything. So I think for me to just answer, how did I do it? I think I trusted the people I had on my side and on my team, like my accountant, knowing that I was in a position with the business to expand and grow. I knew what I could spend, I knew what I could take on. I knew that for X amount of months, even if Dashing wasn't making money, I knew that I could sustain payroll. I knew I could sustain costs I felt confident in, even though those, like Pragmatic and the logical side of the business, there was more, maybe anxiety inducing things than the creative side of let's design a whole new store and build it out and yet rebrand and all that fun stuff. I think, yeah, just because I could trust that it was the right time and it was the right next step gave me some peace through it all. And now it's just, we're there, we're doing it. And now it's just a matter of continuing to, at this point, staff it and sustain two storefronts now, because everybody's challenge these days is staffing. But, yeah, I think I was able to get through that build out phase. And the excitement of it all really was the energy that kept me going, I think.

[08:03] Speaker A: Do you think the trust that you had and knowing that it was going to happen was because you had all of the support, like from Reo and family? Or do you think it was being a seasoned business owner, you knew it was going to work out because it has with its ups and downs, it has worked out.

[08:24] Speaker B: I think it's a mixture of that. I felt confident moving forward because I had a really good support system, not just with, yes, my new husband, who supported me all these years as a small business owner, and then, yeah, my accountant, who has just like I said, we've been talking about expansion and growing and scaling the business for years now. He helped me get through 2020 and everything I have a lot of trust in the people who are like, on my team, but then also, like, my employees, my inventory manager who's been with me for years now and I have assistant director of operations and then just all the sales associates. Everyone I had working for me through that transition, I think is why I felt like, yeah, I trust the team where we're at right now. I trust, you know, that this is the right time. I have things are in place for this to happen and this step to finally happen. Yeah. So I think that was a big part of it. It gave me the little kind of little you could feel the supportive hands on your back, like, you got this, it's time. But I think also being like I said, I've been dreaming of opening Dashing for a long time. Been talking about with customers in the store for years about the idea of expanding and offering men's. It wasn't like I was trying to hide this idea from people. When people would come in and say, oh, do you have men's? Or oh, you know, just asking these questions, I'd be like, you know, it's something that if the stars aligned and that opportunity presents itself, I'm going to jump on it. I definitely think it was a bit of knowing that there's a need for it in the community here in Charlottesville, that kind of level and type of retail for a more masculine customers. So I knew that in that regard it could thrive. But I also did have a really good support to feel confident moving forward with taking that on.

[10:15] Speaker A: I've been so amazed and in awe just at every step that you've taken. I know that it doesn't come without hardships, but I just have so much respect for you and I'm proud of you. I remember when we became friends that you didn't have any employees and now you have a second location and you have an operations manager and inventory manager and it's just so mind blowing to me that you've been brave and confident to do all this because it takes so much. And I just remember even being like in my own very early small business days, like even delaying the start of my business because I was afraid of how it was going to turn out or if it would be, quote unquote, successful. And I think there's so much to be said about how you've approached each step of your journey, which is just, okay, balance the creative and the logistical, find the support and stay in that zone of like, letting yourself dream and letting yourself be passionate about what you want to offer to the community.

[11:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm definitely an enneagram for through and through. And I say that because I do feel like I dream of these like I'm a visionary, I have these ideas and I dream of these things, of how the business could grow or how I could offer something new through my business to the community. And sometimes I'll sit on an idea for a really long time, for years maybe, because I want it to have meaning. That's something that I actually have learned can hold me back if I'm sitting on an idea for too long, because I want it to have such impact or meaning, and I want it to be this aesthetically perfect and beautiful thing and knowing that it's okay. I think that's something I've had to learn as a small business owners. It's okay to also, like, trust the people around you, trust your gut, know that it's the right time and moment for something to be released, even if you're not sure of all. Every little I isn't dotted and T isn't crossed, but you know that it's right, that you don't have to have it all figured out first. And I think that's been something I've had to learn. We all have to learn that. But, yeah, I think as a small business owner, there's been so many lessons, so many things you learn, especially as you scale and grow your business. Like you said when we first met, Darling was not in the place that is now location wise or in terms of capacity and where the business was in terms of just scale. And I was doing it all on my own. But it was also really hard. That was a choice because I didn't feel confident in that logistical financial side of things to be delegating yet and taking on help even though I was working, like, 1214 hours, days, and I was doing all the things. And when I finally made that decision to delegate and hire a bookkeeper, hire an accountant, hire a cleaning lady for the store, things that I was like, I should not be here at 10:00 at night mopping and sweeping and vacuuming the store when I've just finished doing a bunch of inventory all evening after we close, like, you know, just stuff like that. It was just when I made that decision to start delegating and asking for more help and having taken on that side of growth for the business, it was a huge step for me as a small business owner. Not just trusting other people that come into my business and take on things, but trusting myself to make those calls, like trusting myself to say, yes, this is the right moment. You need to ask for help here, or this is the right moment to let this go and give it to someone else. Because I think you hear a lot about people saying, well, you know, you have to trust your team to come in and take on whatever it is you're delegating. But so much of it is also trusting yourself to make that decision and then equip someone else to do it and let go of it, which is a big deal.

[14:18] Speaker A: I feel like trusting yourself is a whole other conversation because I agree with you. I think if you're thinking about growing and you're not sure how, and you're just like, well, it's really hard for me to trust anyone. And you've heard of I've probably said this at some point, but you've heard business owners be like, I'm just a control freak. I just, like, doing everything by myself. And I wonder if we peeled back the layers, we could ask ourselves or each other, like, well, is it because do you trust yourself? Do you trust yourself to lean on others and not do it all yourself and not try to have everything be perfect when reality it never will be? It's a very interesting thing to think about.

[14:58] Speaker B: Yeah. I had a tattoo appointment yesterday with Molly Freeman here in Charleston, a local small business owner as well. And we were talking about a lot of these things yesterday while I was laying there. And one of the things we were talking about is, like, because she's at a point where she needs to hire too. She needs to hire virtual assistant. She needs more help so that she can focus on the part where her energy and time should be, which is on actually the appointment side, you know, doing the tattooing, all of that, and building the brand, thinking about how to grow and market to new things and all of that. And one of the best, like, things I shared, I share with her was something my accountant shared with me when I first started working with him. He said to me, he was like, you need to get to a point with your business where you're not just working in your business. You need to be able to step back outside of the day to day and not be in the trenches anymore, to work on your business, not in your business. And that was a huge thing for me. And at first I was like, what are you talking about? Like, Cool. Great, Patrick. Thanks. But then I started to think about it more, and I was like, well, big part of that is you have to trust yourself to step out of your business the day to day, whatever that looks like for your business. Every industry and everything is different. But. Like. What does it look like to get to the point where you have help and asking for help and. Again. Training people. Equipping people. Finding the right people to step in and manage things a little bit more so you can step back and have the time to look at your business with more of a bird's eye view. Because you're never going to be able to. Like. Grow and scale and see the big picture and dream about the future if you're in the trenches every day. It's exhausting doing that. That was a big AHA moment for me, and I was sharing that with Molly yesterday about, like, yeah, just being at a point where you feel like, you know, now you need help, which is awesome. You've reached that point. Now you find the right people who can come along that drive well with your business and all of that, and that you make that call, and then you can step back and refocus your mindset on a bigger picture and not just the day to day. And yet all of that is about trusting yourself. Navigating that is all about trusting yourself.

[17:08] Speaker A: As you know, when you feel like things are getting too overwhelming or you're doing way too many things that are in the trenches, your body and your mind are already telling you that. But it's also like, how often are you going to shove it down until you realize, I can't anymore. I have to let something go in order to continue to grow, because that's the direction I want to go in.

[17:29] Speaker B: If you do want to grow, right, listening, right. But it is like learning to listen to your body, to yourself, to that all the signs and signals that could be showing up, that you're at a point where you just need to either take a break, you need to ask for help, there needs to be a shift, something needs to happen. Because I learned it again. Pushing through the whole opening of dashing and everything, I just remembered because I hadn't had to do it maybe as hard since 20 20 20 21 felt we came out of things a little bit. Things found a new flow and routine. I didn't feel like I was in survival mode as much as I did in 2020 with the business. And then, you know, this year scaling and opening Dashing, I realized I think it was in July when we were we went down to the beach for a couple of days, and I was sitting there and I just had this realization where I was like, wow, my body is so tired. Like, my nervous system now that I'm sitting at the beach relaxing, is like you're about to just crash and sleep for 24 hours on the beach out to happen. Because I just realized again that I, as a small business owner, can very naturally find this, like, especially when you're in the middle of expanding, something is exciting. There's a momentum and energy, whatever it is. But it's also just like the push, I feel like, of a small business owner. You care about your business, you're going to work hard, you're okay putting in a sweat equity equity to see it grow and everything. But sometimes it gets to the point where, like, I'm ignoring those signs and those signals. I'm not listening to the fact that I'm pushing too hard. Whether it's coming to like, you know, my mental health is not great or I'm eating like **** or I'm whatever it is, emotionally unstable, I'm not working out or whatever, but pushing myself and then ignoring those signs. And I think for me, I realized when I was sitting there on the beach, I was like, wow. It wasn't that I you know, I had been working out through all of Dashing. I'd kept a pretty good routine. I didn't think I was pushing myself like I had in past years to the point of I don't know, to a bad point, basically. But I was sitting there and I went, yeah, but you're physically really exhausted right now. And I think you clearly have. It's been like an underlying current, whether it was to just slow down or step back or ask for help in a certain area or, I don't know, talk to a therapist, whatever it is for you. Right. But just being able to process everything that's going on in your life in a healthy way, I think it's something that I'm continually learning how to find that balance of listening really well and then, yeah, trusting myself to say, you know what, today needs to be a rest day. I could do those ten things on my list right now or respond to all those emails or do that whatever it is I need to do. But I also really need to rest today because if I push through this, what I just heard my body say or heard myself say that I'm tired, it's just going to come out into something bigger later on that we don't want.

[20:30] Speaker A: I think that's such a hard thing to navigate as a small business owner because like you said, we could work in our businesses all the time. We enjoy it. It's the reason why we started it in the first place. And I think also as far as social media goes, you see this kind of common theme of going against the hustle. However, I do think there's a time and a place to hustle and then a time and a place to slow down and rest while still growing. And it's really freaking hard to figure out when that is because it's so different for everyone. And like, we've been talking about trusting yourself, listening to yourself, knowing as you are learning when you need to listen to your body and slow down because you know, what's on the other side is really difficult. Like, do you schedule beach trips now or do you kind of like do.

[21:15] Speaker B: It when I'm overdue? I need to go. I'm trying to be better about it. I think we pretty commonly go in July to the beach. That's a pretty common time. I feel like that we would take we, my husband and I, would take a break and a little beach trip. I mean, my parents are in Virginia Beach, so if I ever have the ability to leave for two days in a row, heck yeah, I'm going to try to get down to the beach. But I've learned too over time that, like, for me to truly rest and pause and take a break and unplug. I need more than like two, three days, five, seven days. And so what I usually do, I used to take in the beginning of January, I would take at least a whole week off, if not more, right at the top of the year, coming out of the busy holiday season to just rest. And that first started for me probably like, it might have been around the time when you and I met, but basically that season when I was running the store by myself, there was I closed the store for a week. I didn't have employees or anything yet. But the beginning of January, I don't know if that was like 2016, 2017, I can't remember. But I just went down to my parents house in the beginning of January to stay there and just, like, get out of town. And I literally just stayed at my parents house for like three, four days straight, binge watching stuff, watching movies with my dad, talking to my mom, like, whatever, seeing my best friend. And it was fantastic. And then it became more like, okay, Rio and I let's go on a trip. So we've made trips. The beginning of January. Where it really is just I call it my annual retreat. My startup. Beginning of the year. To just enter into the new year with rest and with play and with a chance to just be let my brain be creatively free and not just thinking about like. Okay. I have to plan for the year now. Right away. And jump in. You know. Head strong. And I've never wanted to start the year that way. I've never pushed for, like, setting all these intentions and goals right away. Like, I want to enter in with rest and play and a little bit of just space as I come out of for retail, the busiest time of year, you know, so we're going to try to do that again this junior and bring that back, because that's important. I do think you need to schedule in whatever it looks like for you, for your business to find not just times of the year to do that and really take a break, but times of the week, times of the month, times of the day where you can try to create space for just, yeah, rest, play, breathing room. Because it is so easy to constantly be thinking about what to do next for your business or what to work on in your business or what that next goal you want to pursue is. But yes, creating space for just a chance to breathe and relax and rest and play is really important for me.

[24:03] Speaker A: I don't know. I think figuring that out and trying things and trusting that when you take time off your business will most likely not fail.

[24:12] Speaker B: Well, and that's the thing, too, is I have come to a point where I think all of the staffing, brick and mortars are really hard for everybody these days. And I've come to a point, like, my mindset has shifted, not even just from if I take this break or I go away and rest. Yes. First, it was just like, is the.

[24:31] Speaker A: Team going to be okay?

[24:31] Speaker B: To like, is the business going to be okay without me? There that whole mindset. Then I was like, no, my team's got it. I'm good. And now with, like, staffing issues, not knowing what I'm going to have right now, I'm trying to plan a trip for September for our anniversary, and I don't know what my staff is going to look like in September. I don't know who I'm going to have on my team. I don't know what it's going to look like. And right now, I'm like, well, I'm not going to not plan our trip and plan this time of rest and do something for my personal life outside of my business just because I'm worried about where things are going to be out with the business. Because I've reached a point where I think it's also because I have a pretty established business, I would say, where I've been on it for seven plus years now. Darling is going to turn ten in October, even though Dashing is new. I'm okay closing the store if it means me taking a break, if I don't have the staff to be open and I need a break or to do something for my personal life. I've reached a point where I'm like, my business will be okay if I have to literally pause business to do something for myself, which I don't think I was okay even thinking about until this year. I thought if I did that, it would reflect negatively on my business or something. It would hurt the business if I did that. And now I'm at a point where I'm like, I want my business yes, to be staffed wonderfully with incredible people who can run it in my absence, of course. But I've also got reached a point where I know that I'm not going to sacrifice things that I want to do outside of my business just for my own personal life or mental health or whatever it is, because I did that for so long. I think at the start of being a small business owner, I sacrificed a lot, and my mental health was not great. You know, I wasn't taking care of myself, and I was having anxiety attacks, and I was not I mean, I was not in a good place. And it was because I was too scared that if I stopped working or didn't do this or didn't do that, if I stepped away from things, that the business was going to just fall apart and crumble. And I think when I started to accept that, like, that's not going to happen. And even if it does, even if it does hurt the business a little, Bit your mental health and you like making steps for the things in your life that are going to make you a better human being. Running your business are the most important, and I'm okay with that now, which is another moment of growth for me.

[27:14] Speaker A: So many lessons. Thinking back to what you just said, I will take time away for myself. I don't need to sacrifice my mental health and my emotional wellbeing for the growth of the business. And I think that's something worth saying. Again, it sounds like you are at the point now, even if it's recent, that you realize that you are a separate being outside of your business, which I think is so hard because when we run our businesses and like in your case, purchased it from your business partner, we still think of it as our babies. And it's hard to separate ourselves from that because it becomes such an integral part of who we are.

[28:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, looking back, I have referred to my business as an extension of myself. So much like I've used that language, it's an extension of myself or it's my baby or whatever. But we're literally calling our business a part of our being a part of who we are. And it is when you're a small business owner, right? Like, it is such a heart and mind and everything that you have poured into it, but you are still it's a part of you, right? It's an extension of yourself, but it's not you. And you still need to be able to take care of you. Because I know that if I don't, I know when I show up for my business and in my business, I want to show up the best that I can. And if I'm not taking care of myself or doing the things for myself, like planning a fun trip, things that bring you joy, whatever that is for you outside of your business, spending time with my husband, I don't know, whatever it is, those things really are important to prioritize and not just say, oh, I'll get to it later. Oh, you know, if I focus on that, my business is going to suffer. No, you as a human being need to be loved and nurtured, and you have to make that a priority for yourself. Nobody else is going to prioritize that for you.

[29:22] Speaker A: I'm so happy. I'm like smiling because it's so meaningful for you to say that, especially from someone who has worked because you've worked so hard and have owned your business and have run your business for so long. Like, for you to say that, I think it's just for anyone listening who is in the newer stages of business or is in that stage of like, I feel like I'm hustling all the time. I am my business. I hope that you please listen to.

[29:49] Speaker B: What it's not worth sacrificing your mental health at all. Or when I got married, last year, we had talked about getting married for so long, and I thought planning a wedding, spending that time to remove my the energy and the mental capacity I had to put towards my business, to put it towards something else was going to hurt the business. The business thrived last year. It was great. And me planning my wedding and taking time off to freaking get married and spend time on expanding and growing my personal life didn't hurt anything. It just made me a better, happier, more whole human being. And that's what it's all about. Yes.

[30:32] Speaker A: I think there's something to be said about when you take time away, your business actually has more opportunity to grow and you feel more creative. Like, I know even when I've started integrating more, like smaller rests for myself, like, I make sure I have a quiet morning and I make sure I have some time to myself in the evenings. And of course, like a legit vacation is nice too. But even the moments where I have some room to breathe and I'm not trying to hit deadlines and get things done and catch up, I notice that I have more creative ideas. I dream a little bit more than just being in the trenches all the time, which on paper, it sounds like being in the trenches is really productive. And that's how you grow, is you just like grind, but it's like counterintuitive. It's when you rest, you actually dream more and you can grow the business more.

[31:18] Speaker B: Right, exactly. I mean. Like you were saying earlier. There's a time to hustle always in your business. But then there's going to be times to rest and then there's going to be times to find a flow and a groove that feels good in the day to day. Where you do have those moments of productive work and then those moments of just space and free time to be yeah. To let your mind wander. Your mind can't wander when you're always thinking about like when you're always doing something or thinking about what to do next. And the time when I've come up with that AHA moment or, oh, we need to do this. This is a solution for this. Or I have this awesome idea for this. Whatever. Those are usually moments where my mind is just totally wandering. And you have to create that space as a small business owner for your mind to just be free, unencumbered, and let the creative juices flow, whatever that looks like for you. And I think being a small business owner, the strength that you learn is having that intuition. Like, we've been talking about listening and all of that. I think you have to have an intuition to know, okay, this is a season of hustle. This is a season of rest. This is a season of cruising. I'm not hustling all the time, but I'm also going to create space where I can find creative AHA moments and let my mind wander and be free. Because you never know what that's gonna, what that is going to give birth to. For a great analogy.

[32:42] Speaker A: Exactly how do you instill this or model this idea of finding balance between creativity and hustle and dreaming with the people that work with you?

[32:53] Speaker B: We're in a retail environment, but what I and I've told them this before because it's something I know about myself. And so I think I want to create space for obviously ideas to be shared and creative freedom, especially when it comes to social media. And I've had a really awesome young team this summer who's like all about, oh, I have an idea, these like five ideas for reals. And I'm like, awesome, go for it. So creating space for them where they feel heard and seen and safe to share ideas that they have. But for me, I've told them if I'm getting up from the office or whatever, you know, whatever I was doing, where I was kind of sitting and working in the store and if I get up and I walk around the store and I'm like straightening the racks or I'm taking a lap basically around the store, I said a lot of times, that's me. And then I'll stop and have a conversation or with a customer, with an employee or something, that's me. Creating space in the middle of the day where I'm like, okay, I'll come back to these other things at the computer or whatever, but I'm going to take a lap, I'm going to engage in the space, I'm going to let my mind wander and not just sit and do the next thing on the list. A, you have to do that in a store, duh, because you need to meet with people and keep the store organized. But for me, it's also become like a ritual of taking a lap and engaging and being present in the space, which allows me to step away from that todo list and step away from whatever my brain was trying to process on my insane trello board and just let myself wander. And nine times out of ten, an idea comes out of that somewhere or I end up having a conversation with employee that leads to something productive in terms of a creative idea or a solution for something or something. Because I've let myself step away from just looking and completing checklists. I think for me that's in my shop environment or my business environment, that's definitely a way I've created that space for myself at least to kind of be free in the space and let my mind be detached from a todo list. I know in every business that's going to look different. Like, what does it look like to let your mind wander, to let yourself have a moment of pause and step away from just let your mind process in a different way. I am not a scientist so I don't know how to articulate that in a more scientific way, but where you're letting your brain almost subconsciously process things versus, like, sitting there trying to figure it out, staring at your computer, but letting those creative juices flow in a freeway in a subconscious way.

[35:44] Speaker A: Yeah, you're reminded me of something as simple as in middle school, high school. If I couldn't figure out how to solve a math equation and if I would sit there and just stare at the equation for 15 minutes, I wouldn't be able to figure it out. But if I got up, I got a snack or walking around, I was like, oh, it's different, or this is how I do it. And I can relate to that in my own business. It's so easy for me doing social media to stay on social media and to rest, quote unquote, rest by browsing social media and like, always looking for ideas and always, like, thinking that's going to help me be creative. But what I've realized is I actually have to get off my phone. I have to talk to someone, not even necessarily about my business, but just hanging out with friends or even someone who is a small business owner but isn't in the same industry. I've realized that's how I can freshen up ideas or dream or get creative is by talking to fellow business owners, but not actually about social media, just about our jobs and our industries. And that has helped me at least as far as being creative.

[36:49] Speaker B: Yeah, having conversation just for the sake of having conversation, not to discuss any specific topic, especially if it's related to your business. Right. I mean, that's where all your mind can just be free and explore in conversation with someone else like this. It's just a flow you find. And then you'll be like, oh, my gosh, that was a great nugget. What was that? Because it was something that just came out free flowing, you know? And I think that's really cool. I think our brains are fascinating, you know? Yes. And I can tell when I'm more tired. And it's like I always say at the end of a long day at the store, if I'm feeling like I can't even have a conversation with someone, I know that I didn't take enough breaks and I didn't let my brain have, like, free space to wander at all because I basically will be like, I've used all my processing power today, is what I tell my employees. I'm like, you're talking to me, and I'm picking up so little of it. And I'm not trying to not it's because I know my brain is really tired right now, and it just means I didn't give myself throughout the day those moments to wander and rest in that mental way. And I can always tell when I do that well or I don't. And I will tell my employees, yes.

[38:09] Speaker A: It's like when your brain just has too much and you can't process anymore because it's too full. And I think that's such a telling sign that you're aware of that. OK, do you need to take a step away or I have been doing too much and it's such a good reminder.

[38:22] Speaker B: Yeah, and those are the days too, when I know, like, I'm not going to stay late after we close to work on anything or I'm not going to work on anything at home tonight. Clearly I need to just let my mind and my body rest tonight or the the rest of rest of the day. Anything that's left can be done tomorrow I'll start fresh. Because I think when I was younger, as a business owner, I would just push through and I would just let myself continue doing that and not thinking that, oh, you know, I should really you know, these things can't wait till tomorrow. No, now I'm like, it's okay if they wait till tomorrow, I'm okay with that.

[38:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's so wise. To it just sounds like everything that we're talking about today. It comes down to listening to yourself, trusting when your body is trying to tell you something that you need to do, whether it's to hustle or to slow down or to wander or to take a break and also having a support system. I mean, the fact that you have built this incredible team of people around your business is something that I think a lot of brick and mortar store owners aspire to because I imagine there are a lot of people that are still doing the DayToday operations by themselves. They're staying late after the store closes to inventory or to work on social media and just to get to a place where you are. It might not be like the end all, be all, but it certainly is like, OK, I'm doing this. Things are moving, I'm starting new chapters and I don't know, does it feel exciting to you if you look back and reflect on where you were six years ago to where you are now?

[39:54] Speaker B: I think it does. It excites me. I mean, I'm definitely a completely different business owner than I used to be and that's a great thing. I didn't know what I was getting into when I started and I have learned so much and I'm grateful to be where I am now. And I think for me too, I'm excited for the future because I've had this mindset shift where I want to see my business thrive and grow. I want to expand in new ways and I'm okay at this point too. I feel good about trusting employees and hiring aggressively and being like whatever I need to do to get to the point where I can start. Like I'll say, executing, but like taking steps towards new dreams and goals and things that I want to do for the business. But also this mindset shift I've had where I'm like, I also am, you know, I'm 33, there's so much else beyond the business that I want to do with my life. And I'm also OK knowing that I need to create space and time in my personal life just as much as I need to create space and time in my business. And so I think for me, I'm excited thinking about the future because I feel really clear about this mindset I have of work life balance maybe for the first time ever as a small business owner, because I don't think I really had a good worklife balance for many years. And I think I'm excited about the future because I feel clear on that. Like, I feel like I'm at a point where I no longer want to hurt myself for the face of my business or yes, like, silence other dreams and desires I have just because the business takes up so much time and energy. I don't want that to be that way anymore. So I think I'm excited because I see a lot of like, beautiful good things ahead. I can see them so clearly. It's just a matter of taking those steps to get there, right? But yeah, I think I feel clear, which is not also where you always feel in your headspace as a business owner. And I don't know if that's just because I've kind of released this opening dashing and I've released this big dream into the world that I feel so clear and have this moment of like, oh, wow, like, I can see everything so clearly now. I don't know if it's because of that kind of coming out of this big release moment as a business owner, but I also tell my husband, I'm like, I think it's also just because, like, we're married now and I'm just looking at life differently than I did even a year ago or two years ago. And I'm excited about the future in ways that I wasn't a year or two ago for the business and personal. And that to me is really exciting.

[42:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I can relate to that. It's almost like in the beginning stages of maybe most businesses, you don't put yourself first. You probably put yourself towards the bottom of the list. And the business comes first, the growth comes first. If you have employees, like, they come first because maybe as a business owner, you feel responsible for part of their livelihood, which is a huge when you get to the point where you kind of bump yourself up on the priority list and begin to put yourself first, knowing that that won't hinder the growth of the business, it will actually help it. Then things start to become clearer because you're not denying your own help yourself and the freedom to do what you want to schedule a vacation at the beginning of January to fulfill more personal goals that you want. And I think I can relate to that. Like, in the beginning, I wanted as many clients as possible because to me, growth meant more clients and more revenue, because that's what business growth was, simply revenue growth. And now it's all business growth. Means I have the freedom to work as hard as I want and to take time off when I want, knowing that that's not going to hurt the business and that it does feel clear there is a sense of clarity that's involved when you can include yourself on the priority list.

[44:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it feels good, right? I know. And it's so funny that it sounds funny to even say that, but I know other small business owners get that so well, so it's so true, though. I think that's where, like you said, a lot of the clarity comes from is I'm putting myself and not just the business. Oh, yeah. Because in 2020, it was, I got to meet payroll. My employees are relying on me to get through this pandemic and keep their jobs and all this stuff. There were so many other big priorities and yes, now I'm just thinking about the freedom of time and the flexibility of time. That's how I'm starting to think about success. Like, how do I define success and growth in my business? And it's not just, oh, here's the profit margins and here's our blah, blah, blah, and we open a new location and our online sales are growing. Like, all of those things matter, of course. But I just think I've reached a point because I'm putting myself high on that list for maybe the first time ever that, yeah, I see freedom of time and flexibility in my future, and that's the way I want to define success, so that I can continue to thrive and grow as a human being, too.

[45:33] Speaker A: We're redefining success.

[45:35] Speaker B: Right, exactly. Because that's so important. As a small business owner, there's that whole thing of remembering your why and remembering why you're doing this. And why did you why did you if you had a job before, why did you quit your full time job and decide to do this? Why did you decide to be an entrepreneur? All of that. I think it's important, yes, to remember your why. But I think the thing that a lot of small business owners don't reiterate enough or remember enough is what is success to you? How am I defining success? Because if it's defined by how much money I'm making or how many clients I have, like you said, and just like it's in these, like, logistics and tangible things, you're going to work yourself so hard if you're always focusing on those things. So you really have to think about success in a bigger way and hopefully in a way that puts you as the human being running your business.

[46:24] Speaker A: Oh, man, this has been such a good conversation. I know we're running out of time, but as we wrap up, I just want to ask you one more thing, the last few guests, and it's really interesting to hear what people have to say, but because the podcast is called Sincerely Your Small Business, how do you define being sincere?

[46:46] Speaker B: Oh, I love that. I define being sincere by showing up with authenticity in your business. I think for a long time I wanted the business to be this brand voice. And even if it was very much my voice or me as part of that voice, whether it was social media or in the store or whatever, I strayed away from speaking up about things that really mattered to me through my business or using my business as a place to be authentic and genuine again as a whole person running this business. And I think over the past couple of years, I've started to be like, screw that. So to me, it's funny that I'm saying screw that and then talking about being sincere. But that's true though. It's because to me, it's like I want to be authentically, me as the owner of this business. And that means if it's doing a fundraiser for a cause that really matters to me and utilizing my business as the vehicle for that, I'm going to do it, even if it upsets some people, because that's me being authentic to myself as the person running this business. And so I think showing up with authenticity and being your genuine self is just how I can be sincere because I think otherwise it isn't real. It's just this brand that has no root and it's not rooted in a real person if you're not standing up for the things that really matter to you.

[48:19] Speaker A: I love that. Before we wrap up, can you share with everyone where to find darling and where to connect with you?

[48:28] Speaker B: Yeah. So you can find us on Instagram. It's shopdarlingxdashing and our facebook is facebook.com/darlingxdashing. Our website is shopdarlingxdashing.com. And yeah, we have a full online store. So if you're not in Charlottesville and you don't find yourself on the downtown Charlottesville to stop in, you can always visit us that way online. And maybe one day in future cities, who knows?

[48:57] Speaker A: I'm going to be shopping online. Thank you so much for just sharing your wisdom and your experiences and your thoughts today. I feel like this is such a meaningful conversation to have and redefining what it's supposed to what it is to be a small business owner.

[49:18] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me, Jess. I'm so honored to be on your podcast and be able to share my small business experience here. So thank you.

[49:32] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to this episode of Sincerely Your Small Business. We'd greatly appreciate it if you could share a rating or review on Apple podcasts, spotify or wherever you're currently listening so that others can learn about the podcast too. Thank you and talk soon.